I thought once I got out of a very unhappy marriage that once we divorced and he moved on and married someone else we’d go our separate ways and as agreed for the sake of our children that they would stay with their father! It was probably one of the toughest choices to make especially for any mother to be apart from her kids but I knew certainly that they’d be better off with their father.
In the beginning everything seemed to be going well until the day that my kids would be moving what would be a 2 hour flight but a 14 hour drive to see my kids I was notified on a Monday that my kids and their father and his new wife would be moving to Jeddah and I had until that Thursday to come see my kids I felt hurt and angry I lashed out at the step mother because I felt this was her plan not my ex husband for the fact her family lived and didn’t want to remove her daughter from her parents. My feelings have never been considered to begin with when I was married before so why would they matter now?
It was a tough thing to process but with reassurance that Alhumdullilah they were still in the same country and It was noted that I could come and see my kids anytime I wanted to, that first week I drained my bank account booked a ticket and a hotel and came the next week to see my kids.
I felt at peace seeing my kids we went to the mall had a nice meal together i was in money and luckily enough the hotel is stayed at had a swimming pool so it was a win win I let my kids swim they finished we went back to my hotel room so they could rinse off in the shower (dummy me I forgot my shampoo and body wash) and the crappy hotel didn’t have any to give I thought it would have been enough just to rinse off the kids finished up and jumped in the bed and fell asleep waiting for their father to come.
After they left to go back home I went back to my room and cried I had spent all this money and was only given 5 hours to spend with my kids after booking a room for 3 days. Shortly after I got a picture from the stepmother showing my youngest son had a rash she had ranted on that I was carless and didn’t care for my kids enough to prevent this from happening!!
I told her I would never intentionally harm my kids and explained what happened and still blamed me for the entire ordeal that he had contracted hand and foot disease.
This ranting went on for some time blaming me and complaining they had to cut work for my mistake I was made out to be the worst mother when she was trying to make herself into the best!!
As time past I was visiting my kids every chance I got calling my kids every time possible but there were some things that upset me my oldest son telling me its the mothers job to do the calling not the child preventing my kids from calling their own mother what I was most unsettling is she’s also a mother how could she even do that to another mother and her children ?!!
I admit I made my mistakes in my last marriage that caused our divorce but that marriage didn’t end just by my hands there were a lot of things wrong and I could not handle the controlling prison life anymore. No matter what I did it was never good enough or the way it was supposed to be instead of appreciating my efforts any small mistake was pointed out. It’s over though so why still the control ?
My last visit to see my kids was in June of 2019 about a month or two later I was notified by the step mother that I could no longer see my kids unless I had a court order or permission!? Me thinking why!? So I went to the American embassy to see what could be done they gave me numbers for lawyers that helped in such cases and said that they’d cover everything.. I contacted the lawyer explained my situation telling them I don’t know what the problem is they’re saying I did something and I don’t even know what I did !! After a couple court hearings apparently to my ex husband the reason for restricting my visitation was because I have a mental disorder, because I smoke to much and because I have cats!!
I told my lawyer when I leaned my daughter was allergic I immediately got rid of my cats I wasn’t as careless and negligent as they made me out to be but when they moved to a different city I got another cat or two and now suddenly they want to control my life! I’m like I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs!
I work go home get things I need and mind my own business I’m in no way a threat to my children and if this was the issue why didn’t he request this before we got divorced and why is he requesting this now all of the sudden!!
Until now I’m waiting to see a doctor on the request of the court to clear me from mentally unstable to be able to see my kids. The question is still why !? What have I done to him for him to keep trying to make my life miserable and difficult?! I haven’t once made any problems for him and his wife there’s things I could tell her but I promised myself I wouldn’t step to his level.
I’m not crazy I’m a independent woman who loves her kids and wants nothing but the best for them unfortunately I’m more considerate of others when they couldn’t even do the same for me! To prevent any mother to see her kids would make any mother crazy and sick!!
I wish and pray that Allah will open their eyes to see what they’re doing is wrong not only to me but harmful to my kids to prevent them an access to contact their mother anytime they want and to prevent them from seeing her this is a major haram on their part!! Part of me wishes they face the same hardship I’m facing, at the same time I wish they’d stop their foolish behavior before Allah does something in response of their behavior.
I’m tired and exhausted to constantly having the need to fight someone who’s not even my husband anymore I mean if they’re happy with their life why go and make someone else’s life more difficult ?! It just doesn’t make sense , in the end may Allah guide them!
